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[28 Mar 2008|12:17pm] |
in the mist of guilt u wander u wish
under those hideous tattoos its nothing
nothing special
nothing worthy
nothing that matters
in the mist of guilt
you pretend shes me
you allow yourself to drown in your guilt
and explain to her how
you love her
you attach yourself to her seeing how i've become attached
to something other than you
admit it
shes a less cooler version of me
but with those tattoos, your guilt, your selfishness
who's counting
its time for you to take out your trash.
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[13 Dec 2007|08:38pm] |
you leach.
nosey perverted leach.
you leach onto people you mold into those you wish you were like.
your not hot
you dont flatter me or anyone special for that matter
you use people and get used
i laugh
i laugh at you!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
its sad to watch someone fade away from reality.
girls dont like you.
stop drinking.
stop smoking.
loose some weight.
you suck.
your character sucks.
your a no good slob sex pig that nobody will ever love or trust for that matter.
thanks to you i know how it feels to be loved by someone else.
i smile i laugh
with you i cry i hate
your
fading and fading away.
i smile in relief i never have to deal with the bullshit again.
i feel so terribly bad.
oh so terribly bad.
for anyone who needs to.
change for the better is not for you.
you worse!
your gross!
you lie you sneek your gross
i am relieved.
i am so relieved.
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| its all the same. |
[18 Oct 2007|10:31am] |
deja vu in the relationship department.
its all the same.
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| bail. |
[01 Oct 2007|01:19am] |
and so it is. everyone bails. maybe its the season, maybe it me. i wish i had all the answers, i wish i knew what i was doing. this time two years ago i thought i knew everything and it all was blown up in front of me. and now, something so perfect, someone so amazing bails. what do you mean cold feet? this isnt marriage...this isnt a wedding with babies, its a once in a life time oppertunity to grow up and challenge yourself to something better.
honestly,
im sick of people in these comfort zones. i dont think i ever had one. i enjoy change, i enjoy challenge.
im so scared of what the future has in store for me, but im risking it.
boston may not have all the answers, it may just be the worst idea ever.
go ahead and bail. go ahead and stay here. im leaving no matter what, and if you dont want to come and challenge yourself and take some high risks then forget me.
forget me.
and so it is just like you said it would be life goes easy on me most of the time and so it is the shorter story no love, no glory no hero in her sky
im on my own.
i always have been.
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| fresh air. |
[31 Aug 2007|12:31pm] |
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what a breath of fresh air this week has been. this new breath contains no screaming. no crying. no regrets or hurtful thoughts. its safe and easy and honest. im glad its closer now and its easier to breath and to think.
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[20 Jul 2007|01:00pm] |
im an artist.
i painted a gorgeous picture.
i used bright colors.
i felt secure.
i felt love, honesty.
you found my picture
it bothered you
you didnt fix it
you didnt alter it
you ruined it
u took that big smelly gross old black marker
and with agression
you drew over my picture
scribbling, blacking out the bright happy colors
the jagged lines you've drawn
as you pressed so hard with your wrist
in anger and rebel
you didnt care that it was my best
you didnt care it meant alot to me
you kept scribbling
and drawing over the colors
as they started to dull
and when you were done
you stood up with that ugly grin
and threw my picture at me
with a smirk
no remorse
you ruined my most precious picture
i can't re-paint it now
my art will never be the same.
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| on empty. |
[09 Jun 2007|12:37am] |
what am i supposed to do.
im on empty.
i have been for a while.
emotionless.
this isnt easy for me.
theres an open wound.
you cant sew it.
only time can heal this.
i dont know what u want.
i dont know what i want.
i can not save you.
theres plenty of help.
caring my safety blanket.
confused.
im on empty.
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| nikes |
[23 May 2007|10:27am] |
cream came out with new kicks, i want this pair. im so broke. im quitting my design job today, and starting up my own shiz. i also need a roomie, the 2nd bedroom in my apartment has my new imac and office gear. The guy I work for loves my work, but he makes 70% dollars more then me. I'm pretty upset about it. Does anyone have any suggestions?
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| so many questions |
[21 May 2007|10:50am] |
a lot has been changing in my life these last couple months. a little over two years ago, I thought I had it all figured out. I knew what I wanted to do, I knew who I was, I knew who I wanted to marry, etc. etc.
"love makes you do crazy things,
insane things,
things you'd never see yourself do in a million years,
and there you are,
doing them."
- [wicker park]
its hard to imagine, what will happen this time next year, but do i really want to know?
u always said it was you who did this, but i blamed me. i tried everything i could.
why wasnt it enough?
i dont want to love u anymore, i dont.
i dont want to see u anymore, i have.
why do i call you when things are wrong. why dont you care?
why did i for one second even leave my entire world to be with you and allow you to hurt me like you did?
who where those girls?
why did you leave me?
why did you lie to me?
why did you steal from me?
i wonder if in my past life i was a theif, everyone always takes from me and hardly any give.
i dont need a man to love me to be happy.
i dont need you to need me to be happy.
im me.
i need myself.
thats all.
...i hope.
Parskid in front of his work at the Seattle BLVD Gallery opening May 1st.
Hes neat.
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| hotel des arts |
[20 May 2007|10:33am] |
does anyone know jeremy fish? i want to go to cali sometime maybe this fall or winter, so its not too hot there.. laguna beach would be my first stop, san dezy too, but what about san fran? JF has his own room at the hotel des arts. room 412.
sick. he inspires me to paint. not so much do graphic design. it amazes me how he can create things on screen and paint them.
cali trip. soon. please.
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| first |
[18 May 2007|07:52pm] |
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So I suppose I had a LJ a long time ago. Now Ill keep it alive.
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